It’s where people bury their loved ones and come to mourn them
it is not a cool picnic spot
not a place for tag
or cosplay photoshoots
don’t do it
insert-relevant-joke-here said: #Valt what’s your take on this?
As a preservationist and as a cemetery preservation specialist — which is what entitles me to comment on this with some degree of expert knowledge — there are several ways this can go.
Privately owned cemeteries that are still performing burials and selling plots often have their own rules posted. Places like Mount Auburn Cemetery and Swan Point Cemetery and Sleepy Hollow Cemetery have their own rules on photography and acceptable activities. And they’re entitled. Please, respect the rules.
But if we’re talking about historic cemeteries or cemeteries that can no longer afford to take care of themselves (ie, no more burial plots to sell), then, apart from playing tag which is just dangerous with all kinds of things sticking out of the ground, following the original poster’s recommendations is REALLY BAD.
And why is this? Well, unless the cemetery is serving the community as a positive, useful, fun, or informative place, it’s going to get abandoned, run-down, overgrown, or forgotten. It’s been shown MANY TIMES. They become havens for drug-abuse and violence. People stop going into them and that perpetuates the downward spiral of the cemetery. And then the family that DOES mourn for someone buried there is TOO AFRAID to go in, or OUTRAGED at the condition.
So what should you do? Be respectful. Go have a picnic and pick up after yourself. Go do photoshoots but don’t push/pull/sit/abuse the stones and don’t put your equipment on the stones either. Go use it for walks. Go admire the beautiful carvings. Cemeteries were always intended for use and Victorian cemeteries were meant for recreation. So USE IT. Keep it vibrant and active in your community.
Victorian cemeteries were used for recreation? Can someone please elaborate? Is that recreation like you would use a park? I of course can understand the appeal, but the idea that an entire eras cemeteries were intended for this is surprising to me.
I recommend a couple books regarding this topic:
Linden-Ward, Blanche. ”Strange but Genteel Pleasure Grounds: Tourist and Leisure Uses of Nineteenth-Century Rural Cemeteries.” Cemeteries and Gravemarkers: Voices of American Culture. Edited by Richard E. Meyer. Michigan: UMI Research Press, 1989.
Rutherford, Sarah. The Victorian Cemetery. Oxford: Shire Books, 2008.
Mickey, Thomas J. (2013). America’s Romance With the English Garden. Athens, Ohio: Ohio University Press.
In case you can’t tell, I’m doing my thesis on alternative use of cemeteries…
^^^^^^^ Listen to Valt on this one, gentlefolk. Of course be respectful, but cemeteries - 19th century ones especially - have always been meant to be used by both the living and the dead. I can think of several cemeteries I’ve been in that include benches. That are not in any way a grave marker. Why would there be benches in especially scenic areas of the cemetery, often a distance from actual graves, if they weren’t meant for you to sit on? If you don’t have easy access to the books Valt mentioned, here are some webpages on the subject:
- Our First Public Parks: The Forgotten History of Cemeteries (The Atlantic, 2011)
- Rural Cemetery (Wikipedia page)
- Turning Cemeteries for the Dead into Parks for the Living (City Parks Blog)
- National Register Bulletin: Guidelines for Evaluating and Registering Cemeteries and Burial Places (National Park Service)
- City of Boston Cemetery Division webpage (Parks Department)
Also excellent sources! Thank you, Alex.
While I am not Valt - who has a professional pedigree I am BURNING WITH ENVY ABOUT NOW - I am the son and grandson of morticians, and grew up (so to speak) in the industry.
I can tell you that active vandalism is a crime and will hopefully get you put away. People break monuments in Seattle-area cemeteries all the time, and it’s an awful thing.
I can also tell you that all the public cemeteries (not churchyards - different, very very different things) in King County, WA, are owned by the same company - and they have no-trespassing policies meant to reduce crime and vandalism. If you obey the open/close times, don’t bother graveside services, don’t damage anything, and are respectful of people who are there to mourn - they (the owners) *do not care* if you take photos, or have picnics, or walk around looking at things. Some places around Seattle have been formatted (landscaped and re-landscaped) specifically because famous people (hello, Bruce and Brandon Lee) are buried there and FANS come to take photos. It’s *expected*. (They’re not interred there after some JACKASS tried digging up their remains - but the cenotaphs remain.)
Don’t break stuff. Don’t bother grieving people. Look - don’t touch. But please do look - some of the graveyards are near very beautiful, undeveloped, historic and seldom-experienced parts of town. Seattle is young - but some graveyards date to the founding of the city. That wasn’t literally yesterday.
This reminds me of the giant buttstink that people had online a while back about selfies at funerals. Basically, sometimes people take selfies at funerals! So a bunch of people rode their damn high horses about that and were like HOW AWFULL!!! HOW DISRESPECTFULLLLLLL!!!!! which is bullshit.
When my grandfather died suddenly this March, and we ended up having sort of a photoshoot at the funeral because it was the first time in 15+ years that all eight of the cousins on that side of the family were in the same place. The last picture of all of us had been taken *in the late 90s*. Why did we do it? For our grandmother for one thing, and also because even though it sucked that our grandfather wasn’t there, he would have been so happy to have all of us in one place again. Was it disrespectful? Fuck no.
But one thing about the selfies at funerals and appropriate graveyard conversations have in common is an assumption that everyone has the same ideas about death, the dead, and how to mourn.
We don’t all deal with these things the same way…
But mostly — the cemetery will have the rules posted. Follow the rules, don’t break things, and don’t be a dick.
A special note about rural graveyards; if you’re not from the area, or don’t have family buried there, I recommend staying out. A lot of these places don’t have rules posted, and their grass can look unkempt and the gravestones can be in various states of repair. But remember that people live nearby, possibly closer than you think, and they tend to keep an eye on goings ons.
Plus, in my experience, rural graveyards are extremely strapped for cash, often still theoretically run by the local coop, municipal, or county government and in reality are run by a bunch of 70 year-olds. There’s burrs and wildlife and no budget to make any repairs whatsoever. So, unless you’re local, know local people, or have someone buried there, just. Seriously consider going into town. Those are mowed, for one thing. And they have posted rules, so you know what is and isn’t allowed. Often even smaller rural towns have a couple graveyards closer to city limits, full of older and interesting gravestones. So go right on ahead and check ‘em out.
I feel like very few, or at least not many of the people of tumblr are aware of what is going on in my home country Hong Kong right now.
You guys gave alot of coverage and support when Scotland was voting for its independance, so I’m hoping you’ll all support the people of Hong Kong as well.
Right now, many of us are in a mass demonstration of pro-democracy against China. But wait a sec, isn’t Hong Kong China? This is a big misconception amongst foreigners, but please, we are far from being similar to China at all.
A little history class: Hong Kong used to be colonized by the British, and before you white-knights begin going all “them damn white racist ppl taking over another asian country” please don’t. We are thankful Britain took us under its wing and instilled in us values that I feel made us what we are today; that is, a democratic people with respect for free speech, amongst many things.
On the other hand, China is communist, with government controlled media and news. Google, instagram, facebook and many tv shows are blocked in China. It really is just a few steps from North Korea imo.
So what’s the problem here? Britain unfortunately had to hand back Hong Kong to China, but one of the requirements is that Hong Kong be allowed to operate as ‘one country two systems’, meaning Hong Kong should be able to have its own democratic government. But China has broken its promise. A while back, China tried to put a mandatory ‘national education’ curriculum in all our primary schools. We all know what that is; a communist brainwashing regime. And now, they have announced that in 2017 Hong Kong will be able to vote for its president; BUT only from 3 candidates hand picked by its PRO-BEIJING legislation.
As you can see, China is trying to takeover completely and turn us into another communist state.
Of course, we have taken to the streets. In a mirror if the Tiananmen protests, students have also stepped up to fight for our rights and our future, albeit in a peaceful protest of course. But the police force who have always been a friend of the people, are now responding with force, something that had never been done before in Hong Kong.
First it was pepperspray, then teargas. Then, armed forces came in qith rubber bullets. They warn they will come out with live ammunition soon if we do not get off the streets but the people continue to sit tight, disrupting businesses China so strive to takeover and make use of. It’s been 2 days now, but the people plan to continue at least till 1st October or even beyond. The significance is that October 1st is China’s National day, not ours, Hong Kong has not been granted it’s own National day.
Please spread the news. This is a country we’re talking about. These are my people.
You can join this event to wear yellow in support of my people on October 1st.
It still amazes me that I talk to guys who still think they get harassed just as much as women online. Like even from people who aren’t clearly and totally gross dumbasses. It kinda makes me think that, even in the best cases, it might be hard to really understand the sheer difference in frequency. You see a woman get harassed on a game and you go “Oh well I’ve been harassed” without understanding that there is seldom a session for her where that doesn’t happen or understanding what her inbox might look like…
That is a sort of stunning degree of difference.
"The data’s in! Women were lying about online harassment!”
"Aha! We knew it!"
“Yeah, they’ve been severely underreporting how bad things are for them, turns out.”
Can I just say that I think this is the way Mulan should appear int the parks. In the beginning of the movie they make it very clear that the dress she wears to meet the matchmaker is not comfortable nor does it represent her personality. She spends the whole of the film proving that she is not a prize to be won or just a pawn to be married off at earliest convenience. She proves her worth in this outfit. She saves China in this outfit. She falls in love in this outfit. She risks her life, makes her strongest friendships, and changes the entire country IN THIS OUTFIT. Then they have her walk around the park in the same outfit she wore in the first scene of the movie and I think it is really negative toward her character. That is not who she is.
I’ve seen this post pop up on my dash time and time again, and it’s never quite sat right with me. I agree 120% with the idea that the pink “matchmaker dress” is a poor way to represent Mulan in the theme parks, but… so is her soldier armor. It’s just as much not who she is as the pink dress. It represents her pretending to be Ping, and her deceiving everyone around her. It is her pretending to be a man, to be someone else entirely. Honestly, if you want to talk about the outfit that best represents her, I’d suggest this one:
The outfit she wore when she defeated Shan Yu. That is who Mulan is; a warrior, but still a woman. It displays all of the strength that she truly has, yet still manages to be true to who she truly is. This it the outfit that she changed the entire country in; would anything have changed if she was still pretending to be a man? I doubt it. This proves that a woman can be strong, but still be feminine. Given that many people tend to equate being feminine with weakness, I think portraying that the two are not mutually exclusive is a damn powerful message to be portraying to kids in theme parks.
Just my two cents.
motherfuckinbatman said: yall skype with each other when you are like a room away its cute and um go team? (
it’s true, we kinda do and kinda are, but mostly we skype when there are other people on skype
otherwise we kinda just yell
or make increasingly loud sad cat noises until the other person responds in the desired fashion which as it turns out is generally not throwing things who knew
and yeah idk wtf the Royals are doing but hey local team doing something gotta be exciting right idek what baseball is
YEAAAAAH I’M A CONFUSED HOCKEY FAN BUT I’M REALLY EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO ROYALS!!!!!!